Balancing Act
by Rabbi Michael Weinstein
When you talk about and reflect upon an evil deed you have done, you become the captive of your thoughts – all your soul is utterly caught up in the evil, for you are what you think. And then you are prevented from turning, for your spirit will coarsen, your heart grow infirm, and, in addition, melancholy may disable you. After all, if you stir filth this way or that, it is still filth. What is the use of weighing and measuring our sins? In the time I am brooding on this, I could be stringing pearls for the joy of heaven. That is why it is written: “Depart from evil, and do good” (Psalm 34:15) – turn wholly from evil, do not brood about it, and do good. You have done wrong? Then balance it by doing right.
-19th century Chasidic tale, reprinted from Gates of Repentance
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In your Elul self-reflections, think of a moment from this past year when you felt proud of yourself. Perhaps you are reflecting on a situation in which some special aspect of yourself was expressed. This need not be a grandiose moment of achievement; it may be a small, quiet, subtle chance moment. In this reflection, tell the story, describe the situation, and allow the details to return to you in all their fullness. Reflect on why/how the best part of you came out in that situation. How may you be that fully realized, special “you” more often in the coming year?
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